Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
