Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
