don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
