i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
