she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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