i think my mom watched the whole time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
