He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
