My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
