Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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