And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
