I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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