the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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