I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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