YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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