he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize