i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
