Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
