Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
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I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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