i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
