I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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