I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize