did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
