no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
