at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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