And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
