Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
