Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

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(858): View more from California

Umm I'm too high to move.

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(586): View more from Michigan

just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall

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(909): View more from California

flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(678): View more from Georgia

NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

(404): View more from Georgia

YES.

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(530): View more from California

I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.

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