i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
