I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
