tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think your dad took our porno
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
