I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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