why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
