I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize