new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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