So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
