guys are only as good as the porn they watch
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
