Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
