We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
