Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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