I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
