Life is so much better after having sex.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize