I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He felt like a one man threesome
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
