Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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