Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So many bounce houses so little time
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
