how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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