drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You dont lie about slip and slides
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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