at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
