I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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