dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
