I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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