am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
