I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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