Its about making memories worth repressing
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
