I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
