If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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