Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
