she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
