is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
