I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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