i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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