Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
