i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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